Okay, now this may be nothing new to someone else, but God showed this to me. Let me start by saying, I am a very independent person. I can take care of myself, and my family by myself, I don't like to ask people for help, I can do it alone. Do you understand, I'm independent. I have taken "pride" in that fact. I have always been one to do it alone. I used to think that it was because we lived so far from family, and when the boys were really young, I just had to do it that way, because I didn't have a "support system". Okay, WRONG!!!!! Like I said earlier, PRIDE! God revealed to me today that my "independence" was a sin to me. Don't get me wrong "independence" in and of itself is not wrong, but the fact that I took pride in being tht way was wrong. I didn't not let other people, or God for that matter help me. UGH!!! I shared this with my husband, who by the way is 10 times worse about asking for help than myself, and he said, he had been thinking the same thing only a little different. His reasoning was that he didn't want to "have" to help others, just in case he was too busy or something. So for him it was that he was being selfish. I'm so thankful that God continues to show me things in my life each day. Now, the test is to let God work a change in my life. (I started to say, "work on it", but again, I have to put my trust in God, not myself). You can work on things yourself until you are blue in the face, but it all falls apart unless God does the work in you.
Let me share one more thing about this independence thing. The other day when I had to go to the dentist, as I was trying to figure it out all by myself. My appointment was at 2 the boys get out of school @ 3:10, and I wasn't sure how to get this all accomplished without sending the boys to latch-key (after school childcare). So, I get it all worked out, and my dear friend Ronda calls and says, "hey do you need me to take you to the dentist tomorrow, I'm available?" I almost turned her down, because of course "I can do it alone." She ended up going along, and driving me home, which yes, I could have done, but it was nice to have her along. She then took me to the pharmacy to get my meds and got our car to Rob so he could get home without me having to pick him up. Austin's friend, Ethan, called the night before and invited him over, so that was worked out (he has serious problems with going to latch-key for any reason), and then Jamie, Ethan's mom brought Zach home so I wouldn't have to worry about him, and Jordan could walk home since he is 11. I ended up being home right around 3:15 or so. See, God has supplied my need for this "network" of people, I just have to be willing to accept the help. God is so good.