On Sunday night I was awakened in the night with a very vivid dream (or vision) of a child we pick up on our church bus. I"ll not give too much detail, I don't want someone to figure out who the child is. At any rate, I was such a horrid dream that I had, and very vivid, that I couldn't got back to sleep immediately. You know how dreams are, usually you'll see a face, but the name is different, not this time, the pictures where very clear. Usually I can fall right back to sleep after any disturbance, not this night. I said a very simple prayer for this child, "God please, you know what is happening to this child at this moment, and obviously you've laid this child on my heart, please protect this child." That simple. I went back to sleep. When I awoke in the morning I still remembered the dream, which you know how dreams are, you usually can't remember them when you wake up. Well, the child has been on my mind a lot this week. I even somewhat shared the dream with my husband. Okay, here is the clincher. Today as I was in the school I stopped by a classroom to visit a teacher that I am friends with, because our husbands have made plans for us to all go out, and I wanted to confirm them with her. Well, the child was in this class. I was just observing while they were doing a math activity. I mentioned to her that I had a very vivid, horrible dream about the child. She asked when, I told her "Sunday" and she about choaked, and started to tear up. Now that was not what I was trying to accomplish, however, it confirmed to me that God laid the child on my heart for a reason. Evidently it is bad, of course she can't say anything to me, but I could tell, and especially since I am familiar with the family, the living conditions, and the dream I had. Wow, it just amazes me that God can use bad situations in our lives in order for us to help others.
See, I come from a very abusive family. In every aspect of abuse. I personally was not abused, but one of my siblings was abused their entire life, by not just one family member, but many and others that were not even related. That person is currently working through all this with a great Christian counselor. As you can see abuse is very close to home for me. The other day talking to a friend, who comes from the same sort of background, we were trying to decide if our backgrounds make us overly "cautious" or if it is just normal. We are still undecided about the matter, or I guess I just can't explain what our result was. You'd have to live this to understand what I'm saying. I am realizing through this situation that God is going to use me to help people that maybe someone else would not be able to reach. Some might think it is horrible that God could allow bad things to happen, just to use it for good. However, if you truly believe in the sovereignty of God you have to believe that it happens. Does God enjoy the bad? I don't believe so. It is all for his glory though. Everything in our life should bring him glory, and if I can't see that this situation brings him glory (not the abuse--the "vision" he showed me), what good is it? There is no way a person that hasn't experienced abuse, could possibly even comprehend that it happens. Every day, all the time, by all kinds of people. I praise God that he has helped me to realize how my life will impact others, and I will, with his help, help others, all for the purpose of glorifying God.
That is a big lesson to swallow in one day. I hope this in no way offends any reader. That is not the intent. The sole intent is to show that God is so very faithful, and is using my life to glorify him. And most definitely, not the way I used to think I glorified God. In all reality I was only glorifying my own self by the way I used to live. God is so good.