Mouse Trap--not the game

Zach told me on the phone that "I put my finger in a mouse trap." Why I asked. " Well, cuz' grandpa told me to, and he gave me a quarter, and it didn't even hurt." "He told me to put my finger in the rat trap, but I didn't, that would hurt." UH HELLO!!!!!! I told him not to listen to grandpa when he says silly things like this, no matter how much money he offers. Not a happy mamma, that is for sure. I think that my husband is going to have to have a talk with his dad, or else I just might loose my cool with him. UGH!!!

lifes update

Okay, I know it has been forever. Lots going on here, well, just normal busy for a family of 5 I guess. Rob and I are both working full time. Rob is so much enjoying his new job. He has gotten a $.50 raise already. Pretty good for us.

Jordan had a blast at his science camping trip. He loves to camp anyway, but with his friends and favorite teacher, made it even better. He learned all kinds of stuff while he was there. He learned how to make some neat camp food too.

Zach is getting all kinds of dental work done this summer. We are so blessed to have an awesome pediatric dentist. He is so good with the boys, he is very firm, but kind at the same time. He is widening both Zach's upper and lower jaws. Sounds fun huh! Zach is such a trooper though. He has this "appliance" in the roof of his mouth right now, it has a "key" which has to be turned 18 times before we go back, he just opens his mouth and lets us turn it. No complaints, such a trooper. When we go back next week, he will put in the lower "appliance".

Well, the boys have been gone for 8 days now. Let me tell you what, this house it pretty BORING without them. I met Rob's aunt in Lafayette, which is the half way point for us both, last Monday. Rob's Aunt Paula and Uncle Rick have 2 boys the same ages as Jordan and Austin. The boys stayed with Rick and Paula from Monday until Thursday, on Thursday they went to Rob's parents, and then on Sunday they went to Rob's sister and brother in law until we go to get them. We will go this weekend to retrieve our children. They are having a great time.

Rob's dad is not the kindest person in the world at times. He had a long conversation with Jordan about this decision that we've made to leave the UPCI. He told Jordan that bad things were going to happen to us, and our family because of it. He pretty much told Jordan that ROb and I would be divorced soon because of our decision. Can you believe that a grown man would tell at 13 year old kids these things about his parents. On top of it, it is Rob's dad, he would say such things about his own son. WOW!!! He is not very mature in his actions. The boys had to go to church with them, because that is where they were on Sunday, and Denny (my father in law) made Jordan go to the altar. UGH!! Jordan just walked up to be respectful and not be disobedient. When church was over Denny said to Jordan, "tell me the truth did you feel the Holy Ghost up there?" To which Jordan responded "No." Well, then he talked about other things concerning theology, and Jordan gave him answers, he talked about Grace and God's choosing us before the foundation of the earth, not based on merit, but merely because it pleases him. To this my FIL responded something like this. "well, if that is the case why would you even try to do good things, and what if I was to go and drink a beer right now?" Well, Jordan said something to the effect of this. "Go ahead, it is not the beer that is the problem it is the addicition that would be the sin. One beer isn't bad in an of itself, but becoming addicted to it is the sin." YOU GO JORDAN!!! He was polite and respectful, but he was also strong in his beliefes and stood up for what he believes. I am so proud of him. We realize that unless God opens my IL's eyes, they can not see truth as we see it, but it is our responsibility to show them. Jordan realizes this also, and so he spoke the truth to them. I am so thankful for all the evenings we've spent in discussion as a family about the truths of the Bible, and I'm so thankful that my boy isn't ashamed of the Gospel. Enough on that, I could go on and on.

Rob and I had a nice weekend together. We went on a "date" Friday. We went to eat at Chili's, and went to a movie (at the $ theater). We had a slight problem with our food on Friday, so the manager gave us $20 gift certificates, and guess what we ate there again on Saturday. What happened, was there was a hair or a fuzz of somesort on one of my fries, so I had them replace my food, quietly and discreetly, I don't like to make a big deal, you know stuff happens. Well, I get my new plate of food, my fries are piping hot, and my chicken fingers are ice cold. I went ahead and ate, because for crying out loud Rob was done, because this was my second plate of food. Well, we paid before we talked with the manager, but I wanted to draw attention to the manger, just because it appeared that they had just put the original chicken on a different plate, with new fries. Well, he insisted on giving us gift certificates. Of course we'll take them. I assured him that we would have returned they without the gift certificates, but thanked him anyway. WEll, on Saturday Rob and I slept in late, and then go up and spent the day outdoors together. It was super time and we were in Richmond again so we ate at Chilis. Hey, no kids, free foood, come on. It was a great weekend. I did cook on Sunday. On Sunday we went to church, ate lunch and took a LONG nap. Then we went to a calling for a dear friend whose mother passed away. Hey, come to think of it, I cooked twice on Sunday.

Monday, no more playtime, back to work. I'll tell you what it is awful quiet around here without the natives. I come home from work and the house looks the same as when I left it. I cleaned the weekend before they left becuase Rob took them camping and I was home alone for 2 days, so it just seemed natural to clean then, so since it is just he two of us, it has stayed clean. I even had to wash things together that I normally wouldn't was together just to do some laundry. No toothepaste in the sink, no messes in the bathroom (you know how boys can miss), there are not 50 cups dirty from one day. Let me tell you, we thought we'd look forward to the empty nest, not so sure about that at this point. What was our life before children. I guess this was a good reminder of what a blessing they are to our lives. I told Rob, we should appreciate them more when they get back, seeing how much life they add to our lives.

Oh, yeah! Today I did it. I've only talked about it for 3 months, and today was the day. I got my hair done. I got my haird permed and cut. It is great. I have awfully thin hair, it is pretty lifeless. I had a real cute hair style back in January, but it was on the short side of things, just above my collar, and of course it grew out, and I just can't bring myself to spend money on myself every 4-6 weeks or so. I also like what one might consider "low maitnenance hair" so I decided to grow it out a bit, and then see, now understand my hair doesn't grow that quickly, so it is not really long. Well, today was the day. I had her check the computer, and it had been since January that I'd had it cut. I really like the new hairdo, I'll try and post a picture soon.

I sure hope I didn't bore anyone. I know this seems like an awfully long post, but hey I talk alot.

I AM ALIVE!!

Okay, Robin, I am so sorry for being so tardy on updating. No excuse really. Well, I'm sure I can give a few but they are pretty lame. Let's just say BUSY, full time job, husband, 3 boys, house, summer, you know. At any rate. I've started to post quite a few times, but then I realize it is late, and I know I can be on here forever, so I just sign out. I have been reading everyones everyday though.

I will update with all kinds of stuff here in the next few days. Like, right now I'm sitting here typing talking to my mother in law on the phone.

I'll give you a few quick things. Jordan loved the camping trip. The boys left on Monday to go stay with Rob's family in Illinois until next weekend when we go pick them up. Rob and I are home alone for 2 WEEKS!!! Sounds good, huh! I'll update you later.

Off for a day with my husband without my boys.

Have a great Saturday.

****Please pray for my boys, they are having to attend church with my in laws tomorrow, and Jordan especially isn't looking forward to it. I know they know the truth, so it will be fine. Well, I could go on and on.

Yesterday Jordan left for his Science Camp Camping trip. They left yesterday morning, spend the night, spend the entire day today exploring the campground using the knowledge they've learned the last week in the class. Spend tonight at the campground, tomorrow they get up eat, pack up camp and go to the Indianapolis Zoo and then head home. He comes home in the evening tomorrow. I think it is going to be an awesome experience for him. I have to tell you that I think I was having some serious anxiety about this seperation. I didn't even realize it, until mid morning yesterday when I kept asking the other 2 boys questions about Jordan. Like, "do you think we should've taken him a hat before they left, what about a notebook, Oh, I think he forgot his backpack, and on and on I went." They kept answering my questions, reasoning out their answers, it was quit funny actually. Well, then they were extremely wound up. WILD, I guess is a better workd for their actions. I realized that they were just reacting to my feelings, and I had to do a quick "Heavenly Father help me today". I had to put Jordan in the Lords hands for this trip. See, I am extremely protective of my boys, EXTREMELY, and it is very hard for me to let them go away with anyone but Rob and I. The only reason for allowing him to sign up for this camp, was that I personally knew and trusted one of the 2 instructors. In fact his daughter babysat for my boys before, and his wife was Jordan's preschool teacher. My mood changed, and things were much better with #2, and #3. We actually enjoyed our day.

Here was our day. We dropped Jordan off at the school, and off to run some errands. We got Austin's picture taken. Looked around Wal-Mart for a short time. The boys were looking for G.I. Joe stuff, not a single item was found. I did, however, find curtains for the boys rooms on clearance. I was quit pleased with that. Then we went to JcPenneys. I need khaki pants for work. I am having an awful time finding them. What a time for our company to change from black to khaki pants for our uniforms, the same time that Wal-Mart starts requiring khaki bottoms on their employees, and also while it is summer and all you can find easily (and inexpensively) is short pants. UGH!!! Okay, here is our Penny's experience. I found and tried on a pair of khaki pants quick, then in line, which was forever long, the boys are messing around. Loudly, but funny. They were smacking each other in the face, doing Indian burns on the arm, giving shots with there fingers, and laughing hysterically. It was very comical, the lady behind me in line was even laughing. I just chuckled, because they were being so silly. We made it out of there with no big problems. Then to the goodwill store. Which, by the way, I found alot of neat stuff. They were in heaven. They spent the entire time we were there in the back, where all the household stuff, toys and just misc stuff is. They hit the jackpot. Zach bought some binoculars and Austin found a 35mm camera, manual camera that. They were so thrilled, carefully inspecting everything they were considering buying. It was so fun to watch. Then to the $$ store to get some film. HOT DOG!!! They were all set up to be spies now. Isn't that funny. It was so fun to just step back and watch them shop and plan and all the neat things little boys do. In the end I was so happy that the Lord had helped me change my attitude and enjoy the boys so much more yesterday. Sometimes it is so easy to be busy doing the "work" of the day that I forget to enjoy the moments I have with my kids. It is hard to beleive that in 5 years Jordan will be off to college, and in only 10 years my youngest will be there. UGH!!! My how time flies.

Well, off to get some housework done before we go out for the evening.

What does one do with this much mulch. (well, really it was 5 of us) It took us about 5 hours on Friday when Rob's friend brought it to us, and then Rob and the boys worked all day the next day in the yard. THis mulch was free from Frank Miller. If you worked on the Spring clean up day, you get your choice of a few things. One of them being this truck load of mulch. (the other choices were things like a t-shirt or something else like that) I told Rob if he thought we needed mulch this year, this is his chance. We would never have had enought $$ for that much mulch this year.

More pictures of my flowers. My favorite are the orange colored ones.

This is what you do with it. We mulched the entire front landscape area in the front and sides of the house. We also had so much left that Rob and Jordan took up a large area of sod inside the fenced area in back to make a sitting area for us. (see the grill--we use it to cook and just have fires for fun and roast marshmallows of course.) We also had enough mulch to mulch inside the fence around the bottom of the fence where there is no longer grass. It is nice. As you can see one side of my landscaped area grows much better than the other, not sure why. I guess we need to use some miracle grow on that side.

Rob got this stack of lumber from Frank Miller before he left. I guess you were allowed to have up to 5 pallets of fire wood for $15 a piece while you work there. This will be nice for the summer, we can have fires in the backyard. We have been cooking on the wood fires and it sure makes the food taste good. He had hoped he could have gotten green (undried) hickory wood, but the didn't run that. You can see my kids climb on the wood pile. They actually helped Rob stack it too.

(see that wagon--Rob's grandpa got that for Jordan out of the trash when Jordan was like 2--it has been through an awful lot. We've tried to throw it away ourselves, and never have success, so it is still around.)

My flowers are blooming. The rose I wasn't so sure would rebloom this year. I don't know much about flowers at all. It looked kind of dead to me, but we pruned all the dead branches and this came up. I really haven't been able to caputre how pretty the color really is, it is a mustard yellow color. Beautiful. Then we planted the lillies last year, and they grew so much already. I have yellow and an orange color. They hadn't bloomed when I took the picture. The landscaping is looking quit lively this year. We can't do alot at a time, so the first year we planted some hasta and the grass plant, then last year was the lillies, this year a truck load of mulch.

The boys found this bird the other day. Evidently it was on the ground, I'm not sure anything else about it. Well, they tried to keep it. They fed it nightcrawlers that Jordan had left over from fishing sometime, and it was really cute to see them feed the bird. Well, I finally persuaded them to leave it alone so it could find its family. The bird went over to the neighbors house and found "its family". At any rate, here are a few pictures I got of the bird. See Miss Angel wasn't too sure of this bird taking her attention from the boys. She was very kind to the bird, but not too sure of her.

Super easy and Really Yummy Ice Cream Cake

I made this easy ice cream cake. Then after talking with someone at work, I decided to try it with caramel instead of fudge, and M&M's instead of oreos. We liked it much better this way.

Here is the recipe I used.

12 ice cream sandwiches--unwrapped

1/2 c. caramel sundae topping

1 8oz tub of cool whip

1 package of vanilla instant pudding

3 small packaged of M&M's

POUR caramel topping into medium bowl. Add 1 cup of the whipped topping; stir with wire whisk until well blended. Add dry pudding mix; stir 2 min. or until well blended.

ARRANGE 4 of the ice cream sandwiches, side-by-side, on 24-inch-long piece of foil; top with half of the whipped topping mixture. Top whipped topping with m&m's. Repeat layers. Top with remaining 4 ice cream sandwiches. Frost top and sides of dessert with remaining whipped topping. Top cake with remaining M&M's Bring up foil sides. Double fold top and ends to loosely seal packet.

Freeze at least 4 hours before serving.
Enjoy.

I forgot to post this picutre. This little duck kept leaving it's momma to walk up on the concrete where we were sitting to eat the crumbs the boys were dropping. It was so cute, and of course it's mother didn't think it was so cute. She kept "yelling" at the little one.

Happy Birthday Jordan

Jordan was 13 on June 3. He is turning into quit a young man. He chose to use his birthday $$, form us, Rob's parents and my Mom to buy an Ipod Shuffle. He really is enjoying it. He has had Rob put some theology discussions and seminary classes (that you can download for free) onto the Ipod along with some music. Yesterday he was listening to something about Martin Luther and enjoying it so much. It is kind of funny, I now have 2 Rob's in my house. LOL! UGH!!!


Jordan chose to have a cheesecake, instead of a traditional cake. He wanted cherries on it also. The picture didn't turn out the greatest, but oh well. He also got to pick the meal for the day.

Steak cooked on the wood fire in the back yard. YUMMY!
Green Bean casserole
Chessy hashbrown casserole

On Saturday we took the boys swimming it was a beautiful day. Then Sunday we had the Jordan birthday meal and watched the last of the Lord of the Rings movies. It was a nice relaxing weekend with the boys.

Rob started his new job on Tuesday. He is loving it. It is so much more what he was used to from working at the funeral home. Each day is different. You do what needs to be done that day, and it may not be the same project the entire day (that is good for the ADHD person). There are many little perks that he has learned about this week.

In 90 days he'll get a pair of perscription safety glasses, paid for by the city. He gets a $5 a week clothing allowance. That is nice since in the winter he'll need good winter clothing for when he has to plow snow. They will pay for him to get his CDL license, and they are going to start helping him learn. I can't think of anything else at the moment. I do know that his moods are much more calm, and he is not so exhausted in the evenings when he comes home from work.

Jordan will be 13 this weekend. It is supposed to be hot, so I think we'll go swimming tomorrow and then let Jordan pick his meal on Sunday. I'm guessing it'll be steak on the grill. That is his usual request for his birthday. Jordan is going to a science camp for the next 2 weeks. It is only during the day, and then they take a 3 day camping trip in the end. It should be a great learning experience for him. He is real excited about it.

Well, have a blessed day. I must get somethings done before I go to work this evening.

DUH!!!

Okay, I must make a correction. My husband starts his new job on MAY 29. I'm not sure why I keep wanting to say and type September. DUH!!! Today was his last day at the lumber mill, so he'll have a 4 day weekend.

Thanks, Karen, for asking me about that today. Also, I sure enjoyed luch, and I hope I didn't talk your ear off. I sure have missed seeing you. It was so good to get together.

On Sunday we were able to see a baptism at our new church. It was so touching. They also had a part of the service to induct (I'm not sure that is the right word) new members. It was so touching. I cried, and I didn't even know the people. They had 4 baptisms from the same family. 2 were believers, and 2 of them were children, being baptized as a sign that they are a part of a covenant family. I was so touched by the words that were spoken. I realize so much that baptism itself does not save you, only your faith in Christ, the work he completed and his rightousness saves you. I am anticipating the day that Rob and I along with our children will become members of this church, and that we will be baptized as true believers, in Christ and his rightousness. It was just such a wonderful thing to see. I know I don't express myeslf well with words sometimes.

How many fishing poles does one boy need in the water at a time. 5, I guess is the right number. LOL!!!!

Pretty flowers

Zach picked these flowers for me on Saturday when we went fishing. We brought them home and they are in a vase on the kitchen table right now. When we got them home they were looking a litte "sad and droopy", Zach found the vase and put them in water, he was so tickled when we got home from church on Sunday that they had "drank all the water and looked pretty again." His giggle was so cute when he realized this event had taken place. It was so cute.

Cowboy Zach

Cousins eating in the sun.
Nothing better than SpiderMan Pringles.

WOOHOO!!

Rob got the job. He starts on September 29. He is pretty thrilled about this also.

Smiling Providence

One of God's many blessings

What a blessing to have a Godly husband. We do family worship each night right after supper. They even do it the evenigs I work. Well, at any rate, on Sundays we review all of our chatecism questions. It is such a blessing to hear my boys, all of them to answer the questions. ALL of them. They blow my mind to see how much they are learning about God Holy word. I am just so thankful to have a Godly Priest for our family. He takes the job of instructing our boys in the truths of the Bible very seriously.

I think I'll just lick the frosting that is dripping off the donut.

Making donuts

I bought a kit to make donuts, and we FINALLY did them. Austin and Zach enjoyed the fun in making the donuts. They didn't eat them all, they just had fun making them. They were not the kind of thing you could save for another day. Cheap entertainment.

Things are busy here, as usual. Actually, I haven't been blogging too awfully much, because of the time it takes. I can be "obsessive" at things like this. I can sit for hours on the computer, reading, thinking, reading, searching, blah, blah!!! Well, at any rate, I do have a husband, 3 growing boys, a house, a dog, a job and all that jazz. I just have figured the time I (waste) use on the computer, I really could be engaging in conversation with my boys, reading my Bible, cleaning the house, doing laundry, or any number of other things. You know I really don't want my children to remember me as "always on the computer". Okay, Okay, I've rambled enough.

I really have a few things to update on my life.

Tomorrow my husband will find out if he is getting a new job. He applied for a job for the Street Department here in our town. It would be $1.50 an hour more to start, then after 3 months he will get a another $1.50 raise. We could handle that. At any rate, with the raise after the 3 months, he would be on call for an entire week out of each month. Well, we are so used to that. He was on call at the funeral home, every day, all the time. No exaggeration, so I think we will be able to live with that.

Austin is doing much better overall. He is sleeping better, which in turn makes his days better. We have been only giving him his afternoon meds on occassion, like if we need to go somewhere which would require focused attention for him. So, I think we've only used it 2 times in the last 10 days or so. Rob and I are really trying to parent using the "gospel" as our philosophy. (I'm not sure if that came out right or not) We had a nice conversation with Austin on Sunday afternoon, while Jordan was at a youth function. We have decided to not continue--at least for the time being--with the anxiety therapy. We talked about how we (as in all 5 of us) need to really learn to depend on God to help us more than we have in the past. We are going to turn to the scripture when we are havin "anxiety issues". God made us the way he wanted us, so we need to learn to trust him to help us get through all this. Austin was in agreement. When we talked we told him, if he is not comfortable with how it works, to let us know and we would rethink things if need be.

Jordan got accepted to go to a Science Camp for 2 weeks this summer. He is very excited about this. It includes an overnight camping trip and trip tot he Zoo. One of the main reasons we decided to let him apply was that his Science teacher this year is a Christian, and his wife taught Jordan in preschool, and his daughter babysat for us before. At any rate, that is the only reason we'd be comfortable with him going away overnight. I know, I know, I'm probably more protective than most, but there are many reasons for this.

Next week Jordan has a dr. appointment in Indy in the afternoon. Well, Rob is going to take 1/2 day off and we are all going to go together. I'm looking forward to this. We are going to make something fun of the day. We've not done that lately.

That is it for the time being. Have a blessed day.

Happy Birthday Zachary!

**Beach cake. Rice crispies for sand, milk duds for rocks, laffy taffy for beach balls, volleyball net, and floating mattress, sour peach and apple rings for inner tubes, teddy grahams, Kit Kat and a ghiradelli chocolate square for lifeguard stand (I didn't have the back on the chair inthe first picture--I was afraid it would fall off before this evening), swedish fish aqua life for under the water.

Zach turned 8 on Sunday. We had cake, ice cream and presents today. Austin helped be "design" the cake. It was fun. Lots of fun ideas. Austin and Zach helped me decorate it. It was a beach scene. Zach is a beach baby. He loves the water and sand. Zach is outside enjoying some of his gifts right now. Baseball!

**I finished my Subway Management Class today. It wasn't so bad. I think I passed the test anyway. I hope I did. I'll find out soon enough. It was fun to learn new stuff. I think it will help me do my job more effeciently. I am one of those people who have to know the ins and outs in order for things to make sense to me. I need to know why I do something, rather than just doing it.

I have a thought for the day. I am asking that my blog friends help me pray.

If you've read this blog at all you know I have 3 boys. They are all ADHD, along with their father. Austin has more problems with than the other 2. We've been travelling to Indy every couple of weeks to see a specialist. Well, Austin is now taking one medication in the am, one in the afternoon and one to help him sleep. Jordan is in the process of switching his meds. Austin also goes to therapy for anxiety.

Well, I've been wrestling with something lately. What in the world am I doing to my kids? Am I just choosing to medicate them, rather than train them. I know that they do have a real live problem, and they have excelled academically once they started the original medicine, so they may never be able to stop completley, nor do I plan that at all. However, I don't like giving Austin the afternoon meds at all.

Okay, I have been thinking. You know I am a sinner (saved by grace of course), my kids are sinners, we act like sinners. Why do I think that I can alter the sinful behavior that comes from the condition of their hearts with medication? Now, I know that they do better academically with the meds, but behaviorally not so much. There behavior will not change just by medicating them. I have to, with God's help, train them to accept who they are, and how God made them. He is the only one who can help us with the matters of the heart. God created them, and God doesn't make mistakes, so it is our job as parents to help them accept who our wonderful Sovereign Lord has made them. Please remember my family in your prayers. It is my desire to be a Godly parent, and train my children in Godly ways, to accept our "lot in life", not try to change it. I, however, have to learn to trust God with all things.

Okay, I think I may have gotten my thoughts out in some sort of order. I hope I've not totally confused anyone.

Just a few updates on my life lately. Not a lot going on but just some little stuff.

Austin has a goal of like 10-12 AR points for reading for the month of April, and as of last week he had 62 points already. When his teacher asked why he had so many points he said, "well, I can't sleep so I just read all night." Too funny! He is not kidding when he says that either.

Zach will be 8 years old this week. WOW!!! My baby. He is excited about this event. Also, he says he can't wait for school to be over, because then he'll be in 3rd grade. UGH!!!!

Jordan made the A-B honor roll this grading period. He was so excited when he got his grade card. We have a Honor roll breakfast Thursday morning. I will be attending that with him. He is thrilled.

I have been in a manager class for Subway this week. Most people wouldn't find it interesting. I do. Lots of number crunching.

We have made another church switch. It is good though. It has nothing to do with being "disgruntled". We really enjoyed the church we were attending, and learned so much from them. It was a great stop on our journey. We have been on this incredible journey for the last 2 years. God has lead us to such deep truths in his word. We feel extremely strong about the covenant between God and our family. The boys were a little unsure about it, they need constants, and this is something new. They did, however, enjoy church. We are thinking we have finally come to the end of our church journey, and we are hoping to be baptized and join this church. It is a little closer of a drive, it is 35 minutes vs. the 55 minute drive we did have. Again, it was not a change for bad reasons, we were so not upset about anything at the church we were attending, other than we wished we could have been more involved, but the distance was too much for that at this time. The church we've started attending is Christ Presbyterian-Richmond. It is a PCA church. We are really excited about this move.

Jordan and the doctor

Today I took Jordan to the doctor---again! At any rate, I just htought I'd share this little tidbit.
He is only 12--well, he'll be 13 in June, but he is 5'5.25" and 153lbs. WOW!!! Rob and I are only about 5'2-3". He is bigger all around than Rob was the day we got married. Isn't that funny.

We are going to try a new med for Jordan also. It is nice that he is old enough to answer all the questions for himself, well I do have a say so in this also, but he can truly answer how he feels. Also, how he gets frustrated with himself and the impulsive behaviour that he can control, and then feels much guilt afterwards.

A word of thanks.

Friday I wrote about having lunch with the boys. It was nice. I really didn't think much of it, other than the fact I used to do it once a week, now I think I've only been able to eat with them about 3 times this year. UGH!! At any rate, on Friday when Rob picked the boys up from school, Jordan came in the house. This is what he said. "Thanks Mom, for taking me to lunch it was nice." I was so touched. I guess I didn't really think it was that big of a deal to them. Evidently it really meant alot to Jordan that day, and I'm so glad he let me know. I asked Rob later if had told him to thank me, and he said no. So, that trully came from his heart.

I have great kids. God has so richly blessed me, to choose me to be their Mom.

I have been off the last two days, and no doctor appointments to travel too. It has been wonderfrul. I forgot how nice it is to have a day off through the week. Yesterday I spent the day cleaning, and doing laundry. I even sat down a read some, and watched a hallmark movie that I'd taped forever ago, and forgot about. It was a nice day. Oh yeah, I mopped the floor also. That might not sound like much, however, I don't usually do the floors. My dear husband ends up doing them. Ususally by the time I get my "cleaning" done, the good kind of cleaning, I am worn out, or it is time to pick up the kids or cook supper, and the floors get left behind.

Today I spent the majority of my day at the school with my boys. I went to luch with Austin and then part of his recess. Then off to Zach's class, where I sat in on reading time, and he read me a book, and then to lunch with Zach. Then off to the middle school for lunch with Jordan. I sat in his reading class for a while also. It was nice to spend time with the boys. I haven't had the time to do this school lunch thing in a while, because it seems when I'm off through the week, it is usually a booked up day.

Well, now to get some yard work before the sun goes done and it gets to chilly.

A Heavy Heart

My heart is heavy today. I don't even know where to begin. So I'll just try somewhere. S*e*x*ual abuse is a part of my exteneded family. This being, my parents and siblings. My father, is the worst of all perpetraters of this horrendous act upon a child. It was know growing up that one of my brothers had taken advantage of my sister, but when it was reported, supposedly it had stopped and was in the past so nothing was done. Well, in the here and now, my sister is feeling the affects of a lifetime of abuse by not only my brother but also my father and whomever else was allowed to violate her body, mind and soul. She is a very strong person, she is doing well, considering the events of her life. She is a survivor. I am so overwhelmed when I see where she has come from in the past 3 years. There were days in the begining, that she couln't even remember how to draw bath water for herslef, and I was there to help here through those times. She is amazing. She is strong. God has helped her so much.

She deals with many memories, daily, nightly, there are times she doesn't sleep much. As of late, she has remembered my children in her memories. My children were violated by my father. UGH!!!!! You can't even imagine how horrible this makes me feel. They were in my sisters care, and I do not hold her at fault considering the circumstnaces, and he was there, and he violated my children in the worst way. We have talked about this with them, they say they do not remember, and on one hand I don't wish them to remember. We called the police in the town where it happened, and they in turn have contacted socail services. Which is absolutely fine with me. I want something done if they ever remember, I will not let this go by without notice from me. Last week, they were questioned by a social services worker in our county on behalf of the county it happened, the boys say they have no memory. However, the social worker feels they do and just aren't ready to talk about it. I don't know what else to do, I feel so absolutely helpless in this. My boys are my life, and they have been hurt in the worst possible way, by a grandparent. I want this man stopped, because I'm sure at this very moment he is hurting some helpless child. My heart aches each and every time I see a story like the one of J*e*s*s*i*c*a L*u*n*s*f*o*r*d, and children like this. My heart is very heavy today, I am at a loss of what to do. I have talked with the school, I've talked with the boys doctors, so that we are all on the same page and if they ever feel like they need to talk they can. In some ways I wish they never have to deal with the memories, however, I need them to talk if they have memories.

I know the scripture that says: Romans8:28And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[a] who[b] have been called according to his purpose. (ESV)
I know God is sovereign and in control of all things. I guess I am just greiving today, I feel so very heavy. My days are crazy. Some days I don't think much of it, somedays it consumes my thoughts. My moods are horrendous. Up and down. I am very overwhelmed by all of this.

I am sorry for the heaviness of the post. I just had to get these feelings off my chest today.

Just some fun fishing shots.

Jordan being silly. A bird of prey we saw driving through the park. And then of course our little Angel basking in the sun. Taking in all the sights and smells of fishing.

You can take the guns away from boys, but then they'll just make them. My kids are all boy. They love to play. They don't even need toys generally, they just make something up. On Friday, which I didn't get any pictures of, Austin made a "mini golf" maze out of the fire wood, and used a long branch for a club, and they found a softball that they used for the golf ball. It was a great use of imagination.

Look at the toasty marshmallows. (don't look at the dirty hands)

Its that time of year again!

Look what we did. The boys were on Spring break the week of March 26, and it was beautiful, so on my days off we went camping. It was alot of fun. Jordan and I set everything up. I was off on Thursday and Friday, Rob packed the van for us, we headed out and camped--me and 3 boys on Thursday, then Rob took a 1/2 day from work and came out around lunchtime on Friday. I had to work the weekend, so Rob and the boys stayed the night without me on Friday. It was a great time. I enjoyed the time with the boys. We rented a movie to watch on the portable DVD player on Thursday night, I wasn't real keen on being out alone, and letting everyone know it. So we hit the tent fairly early and watched a movie, cuddled up and went to sleep. I took the boys fishing on Friday. They had a great time. Oh, we did it all on Thursday. We even made a fire, and had smores after we ate. I am so glad I took them, I almsot didn't because it did get a wee bit chilly in the night. We just all stayed tight in our sleeping bags, and it was fine. The days were beautiful.