Here I shared with you all how I was feeling about stuff in general. Well, I woke up with a much better attitude. The Holy Spirit was at work in my heart and life. I said a silent prayer as I started my day that God would give me the grace I needed, and he did. Isn't it amazing what God will do if we just ask. At any rate, it was a good day. (Actually all of them have been good since I got my selfish attitude in check again) Jordan, who is now 12.5 years old decides he is just going to have a crummy attitude and treat his brothers awful. Well, I had tried to remprimand him kindly, and ended up sending him to his room. I told him all he had to do was change the attitude, and he could join the family again. He goes to his room, and comes right out, and I could tell there was absolutely no change, so back he went to his room. Which of course he thougth I was just awful. I thought to myself, "self you need to have a talk with this boy" (actually I'm sure it was the Holy Spirit at work again in my life). Well, what in the world am I going to say to a child in a bad mood, that I feel like I'm talking to myself when I talk to him. (does anyone understand what I mean by that) Well, I go in and just have a conversation something along these lines.
I talked to him about the bad attitude, and how sometimes it is jut much easier to keep the attitude than get rid of it. Even when we know we are wrong with out actions. He just looked at me, like whatever. I talked about how we are like this because we are sinners, even if we've been saved we are still sinners and have a sinful nature. Still just looks is about all I'm getting with an occasional nod. I went on to tell him the only way to change is to ask God to forgive us for the selfsih ness and ask for his help in changing. More nods and looks. Then I went on to talk about myself ahving a negitive attitude and knowing it, but not changing, or asking for God to help me. I told him that before I went to bed on Sunday I had to repent of my selfish sinful ways and God changed my attitude and helped me. At that I got a big grin and I could tell he was understanding what I was saying. He didn't necessarily need me to tell him what to do, or how he was srong, he knew that. He needed to know that I struggle the same way sometimes, well lots, and I have to ask God to forgive me and help me. It was such a wonderful experience for us both. I got a big hug and I love you from the boy. I connected with my soon to be teen, who I now look at his chin when he stands in front of me. What a great kid. What a great big God we serve. He used that awful mood I'd gotten into to bring glory to Him. God used my situation to show my son that we all struggle, we are all sinful by nature, but God can and will help us each day.